Hey, readers, yeah, you guys. How big is the difference of
our life?
To me, difference is an unlimited boundaries existed between all of
us. Even how much I want to end up with happiness, but still I would find
myself crying at every corner of my life, begging for something that I cant
have like opportunity to study in higher education, or having someone by my
side who doesn’t count any flaws on me to be together with or even my own
parent.
Parents ,that is something that I couldn’t have now and
ever. I have successfully ended my diploma a few weeks ago and I decided to
deny my attendance on convocation day, many of my friends asks the sole reason
for me to do so. My answer was financial failure to attend a Rm380 ceremony and
so was for other reasons. But I did come to celebrate my friends, its like our
last reunion together but without me wearing the robe. That day was a great day
and also the most painful day of my life. I wasn’t that great in my CGPA and
hell no I didn’t give a Sh*t about those and I ask myself why don’t I care and
why don’t I put my highest effort in it. Finally I remembered, I have lost
those “Positive Motivational Vitamin” long time ago at the day I receive my
School Certificate. I took my PMR result with my mom and without my dad, I took
my SPM result without my mom and neither my dad. And this diploma wouldn’t make
me feel any sense of happiness as it is just a piece of paper that cost
42,000.00 Ringgit Malaysia.
My experience made me realize that I only
have myself and never to include others in any happy moments and sad moments. Later
that evening (convocation day) I ended up going back to my workplace as it
turns out that I did mistakes that costs error to my work and also my boss. I was
mocked. While my friends was out and having their celebrations, I was crooked
up and left alone in the life dumpster. Hahahah. This post is now published
with my private info in it! Again , I don’t give a Sh*t.
Well, I was going the talk about BOUNDARIES.
BOUNDARIES is
the wall of our PERCEPTIONS and PERCEPTIONS are FABRICATED from our own life. We
suffer and We Resisted either in a good way or in a bad way to every life
obstacles.
To every action we made, is the response that we produce by our
experience resisting.
Example: Whenever I see and observe each person’s life, I
was too afraid that I would compare it with my own and I decided to play dumb
so that I wont feel regrets to my past lifetime.
LOVER?
I will turn down every chances I had to find someone special
and new in my life. Some people will say that I should try my best in winning
her heart, should I? If I don’t, I will never win. But, do winning someone’s
heart relied on me only? Sooner and later, I knew that I am not the kind of guy
who would build an overnight palace just to win some princess’s heart, I am the
guy who would get a construction contract first before building any size of
palace for her. Every relationship that I have turned down is not a failure, it
is a lesson that I should be better than her so that she would also try her
best and appreciate this War of Love. Hahahahaha, I cant believe how important
a woman can be in someone’s life, but, this is the output when it comes to be
all alone for each second of my life. All I gotta do is be patience and wait
for some woman who is crazy enough to fall for me as a stupid and penniless guy. It is hard to hand over our trust and love to someone special, cause we would do everything to make them happy.
I gotta admit that I do envy some guys that have much more. Nevertheless,
I should also be thankful for I am not in the worst wolf pit. There are many
people out there have no possession and also food or drinks.
Too much complaining is what I am doing right now. Never felt
this stressed before. But I will keep my smile everyday. I suck at my job and I
have giving up to move on, for I shall not quit and I will suffer.
Thousands of drops per second,
Laid myself on the road
With the suffered mind and thoughts,
I have wet myself with painful breaths.
With the suffered mind and thoughts,
I have wet myself with painful breaths.
*I am trying to be poetic and it sounded so wrong. hahah
We all have our own problems, we just need to let it out. If you got someone to tell it to and you should have them as listener(s). for me, I have this blog and please dont be Judge. cause i hate courts
